Forgiving Yourself

Top of the hour!  I pray that everyone is having a great week.  If not, and the week has presented some bumps or challenges remember to pray.  Call on something Higher then yourself, call on your Creator.

A couple of weeks ago, I could not seem to figure out life.  It just seemed as if nothing and everything was going wrong at work.  You ever have one of those days?  I had a big task at work that needed a keen eye and I was on a time crunch.  Well, the work I produced did not turn out to my standards or my boss's standards either.  He did not need to beat me up because I did a great job of that myself.  I was basically in my feelings and I felt bad and embarrassed.  There was noting that my friends and family could have said because I felt like a "fuck-up".  I even asked God, "why?"  What lesson did He want me to  learn?  I could not get pass the embarrassment of messing up to clearly learn anything.  It took me a few days to finally quiet the talk in my head to distinguish between the facts and what seemed to be the truth.  When I was able to quiet down and start the healing process (after beating myself up) I started to learn from my experience.  One particular lesson is that I don't work well under pressure.  I learned that I have to plan ahead.  When I have to do things last minute or rush  I don't produce my best work.  

Second, I am learning that the brain/mind is a muscle.  I have to constantly condition and work with this muscle for it  be strong and healthy.  I am a big believer in positive reinforcement.  Praying, reading positive quotes and articles.  Repeating over and over in the morning, that "today is going to be a good day" or "Greater  is He who is in me then He who is in the world." I was polluting my muscle with negative things after I messed up, so I started to see the world as me being a "fuck up" and all I do is "fuck up some shit up".  That is not true and I am not owning that.  

Third, I am learning that we can not dodge making mistakes.  I read this quote on good old Instagram, "you might never fail on the scale I did, but some failures in life is inevitable.  It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-in which case, you fail by default".  This blog is about encouraging you to LIVE!  So, living means that you are going to make mistakes.  I was so wrapped up in my mistakes that I did not realize that mistakes are apart of growth.  Evaluated mistakes lead to growth.   

Once I calmed down after the week's events I was able to see and understand what I was suppose to learn.    I read Elizabeth Gilbert's post on Facebook about self-forgiveness which  resonated with me:

"You'll never untangle the circumstances that brought you to this moment. But you are a warrior. Arise now, like a warrior. You are caught up in circumstances that God determined for you. Stand up and do your duty."

Such beautiful words of self-forgiveness!

The truth is that sometimes we find ourselves standing in predicaments that we simply cannot fix or untangle — or even begin to understand.

Sometimes we caused those predicaments; sometimes they were inflicted upon us; sometimes it's a mixture of both.

Sometimes, nothing can be done but to forgive ourselves for our own hopeless predicament (which invariably leads us to forgive others for THEIR hopeless predicaments) and then...arise.

Forgive, arise, and try again — humbled, but wiser.

Onward,
LG

So, my loves, remember to press your feet firmly on the ground and like LG said, it best: "forgive, arise, and try again--humbled, but wiser".  Isn't that what life is about remembering to live, love, and share!

See you next week!  Bigger and better because your are going to arise and try again. 

Love, 

LO--

New Year. New Lessons.

I am sure this post will find everyone working hard.  Back to the hustle and bustle.  Back on your grind, and back to living and defining your life's purpose.  Here are a couple of takeaways from 2014 to remember and bring into 2015.  Here we go!

# 5 - Stop thinking you have to wait until January 1st to set new goals and live them out.  Successful people understand that it is not an annual process it is a daily process. You should be more concerned about how you hold yourself accountable on a day to day bases.

# 4 - Sacrificing- Many of us do not want to put in the muscle work to sacrifice.  We must note that there is no achievement without sacrifice.  For example, I have been talking about running a 5k to damn long. I want to be strong and fit but for too long I have not put in the work to achieve my goal. I must start now to achieve my goal.  All small efforts compound for the achievement of my desired goal.  So whatever, you are committing to in 2015, start now, start slow but be consistent.

# 3 - Renewing your mind!  I wrote a blog post awhile back about making it a habit to renew your mind.  You must be intentional to cultivate your happiness.  It takes work and it is a process for the right mindset.

# 2 - Remembering to have gratitude.  The only way you can express gratitude to another person is being intentional about it and knowing what you are grateful for.  Take the time everyday to recognize the people and life's little treasures.  I recommend starting a gratitude journal.

# 1- Remembering to take time to live, love and share.  That means, laughing more, being grateful,    giving more and being a better version of yourself daily.

I look forward to hearing from you on what lessons you plan to take with you this year!

See  you again real soon.

LO,
xo

Have You Counted Your Blessings Lately?

I love this time of the year! When Thanksgiving comes around the mood changes and love is in the air. People travel to spend time with their loved ones or open up their homes to friends who maybe far from their families. Great stories are shared around tables and you are guaranteed that turkey this and turkey that will be the meal for the next many days! Homes get decorated in preparation for Christmas. Radios start blasting Christmas songs everywhere. The festive season is here. 

In a world where virtually every holiday has been commercialized, “Black Friday & Cyber Monday” used to be a day but now they are a week long! I watched in amazement as people trip over one another to get the “deal of day.” Holiday sales now month long and folks are busy buying stuff they don’t need unaware that they are laying a foundation of going into the next year in more debt! 

Could we have lost the essence of gratitude in the pursuit of more? I think we have. We have become a society with so much yet we experience so little joy in our lives. We casually say, “thank you” out of tradition and not from the depth of conviction. Have we become so entitled and become blinded to the most important things in our lives? Have you counted your blessings lately? 

I want to share with you my life lessons about gratitude or being thankful and I hope that it gives you a different lens through which you can count some your blessings. 

My grandmother always told me - “Son, in life there will always be people with more than you have and there will be those with less than you have. The key to being fulfilled is to always be thankful for what you have now.” Melody Beattie say, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home and a stranger into a friend.” How so very true! Gratitude turns what we have into more than enough.

Gratitude gives us strength to go through adversity in our lives. It gives us the strength to stand up again. It gives us the hope for the future, empowering us to keep moving for a better tomorrow. Be thankful for the tough lessons of 2014 and stand up with a refreshed hope and excitement for the coming year.

Gratitude gives us a renewed purpose for our lives. Sometimes we are faced by life altering realities in our lives that shake the very core of our being and gratitude gives meaning to the meaningless as long as we choose to see the best in all things. Gratitude allows us to mine the gold from every circumstance.

Gratitude is the cure for the destination disease. The someday disease-when I get a better job, when I get a better spouse, when I start a new business, when I retire! Quit postponing your joy! I love what Robert J. Hastings says: “Sooner or later we must realize there is no ideal destination, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life outdistances us. So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more and cry less.Life must be lived as we go along. Relish the moment is a good motto.”  I say, all we have is this moment - NOW live like you are grateful to be alive.

Gratitude opens the doors of opportunity and blessings to flow your way when we become intentionally grateful to those around us. We all need someone to believe in us,to build us, to guide us or support us on our life’s quest to fulfill on our purpose. Be thankful for your family, friends, mentors or the relationships you have right now. They are your blessings on the journey.

In conclusion, gratitude gives you perspective, gratitude gives you strength in times of adversity, gratitude gives purpose, gratitude gives you joy and fulfillment right now and finally gratitude opens the doors of blessings to flow your way. Count your blessings daily and always be a blessing to others around you. 

I thank you for your time. I thank you Lolade Onashile for the opportunity to serve you and your readers. Wishing you all a very blessed and wonderful holiday season my friends.

What are you most grateful for? Please share below.

 Live, Love and Share,

Guest Blogger: Njeru is a Co-Author with Brian Tracy of the bestselling book “Change Agents”. Certified Speaker, Coach & Trainer with the John Maxwell Team. Founder of The Leaders University. Njeru Nthigah is passionate about educating, empowering and equipping leaders. He also works with individuals to help them find, develop and live out their unique purpose. He currently lives in New Jersey. You may connect with his via social media:

www.linkedin.com/in/njerunthigah 

www.facebook.com/njerunthigahspeaker

www.twitter.com/njerunthigah

New chapter!

The students got a chance to slim me for the science fair!

Life is ever evolving and I believe that I was created to create.  I have been teaching for 7 years and I began teaching after graduate school.  I was really looking forward to working in a museum, because I wanted to be around curators, and artists.  Despite my efforts, I had a really difficult time breaking into that industry. 

 I was approached by a family friend to be a substitute teacher and I quickly took on this challenge. Teaching now became my love and passion. Even though I was a sub, I had my own subject, roster of students, classroom, and full-time duties of a teacher.  That first year of teaching, my idea of teaching changed needless to say.  I had imagined that I was going to wear a dashiki, read Malcolm X, and go to museums once a month.  Reality quickly set in.  I had to change my attitude and approach to teaching quickly.  

One day my principal came to me and asked how comfortable I would feel to teach science in addition to me already teaching history.  I remember in college struggling with basic biology.  I asked her if I could think about it, and her reply was a sharp, “no”.  I smiled and humbly said, “okay”.  That night I went to Barnes and Noble to pick up every science book that  was ever written to brush up on middle school science.  My family thought I was crazy for teaching in the hood and on top of the stories that I came home with about parents, children, and adults, now I wanted to teach science!?  

I made it through my first year with a great teacher mentor, a couple of mental bruises about teaching, and physical bruises for breaking up fights in the classroom between students,  and this new passion to be a great teacher!  Anytime I told someone where I taught you would have thoughtI was a saint or wore a wonder woman belt. The reactions of me teaching in an urban area (I am going to keep it real -- the hood) was interesting.  It was as if education should look different there, or only the brave and crazy taught in the hood.  I did not have the "lets save the black children" mentality or feel like I wore the “S” on my shirt. I did, however, feel like the black children that looked like me desired a world class education.  I also understood that I needed to build trust between the community (group of kids and parents) I was teaching in and to trust that I could do this job.  

Over the years I learned to trust myself more and more in the classroom.  I left the school I started at to literally teach across the street at a charter school.  Now, many people have strong opinions about charter vs. public and I am here to set the record STRAIGHT. We don't kick out irate students, we don't select only the smart kids, we don't reject kids with I.E.P. (individualized education program), and we are not taking kids away from public schools. The kids in charter schools are no different from the kids at my first school (public school).  I learned so much from this charter school about what extraordinary teaching looked like.  I also challenged myself in the classroom and as a leader.  At this new school, I led  the vision for what 7th grade should look like and taught a full load.  As a teacher, you sacrifice a lot of your life, with the long hours at school, challenging students and parents, working relentlessly to teach and motivate students and teachers.  This is definitely not a one woman’s show!  I have worked beside an extraordinary group of educators and staff throughout my 7 years of teaching.  

Since I turned 31, life has a way of starting to look different (well for me at least). I started to reflect more, and ask myself questions like: Am I living my purpose? Do I react accordingly to whatever conflict?  Where do I see myself 5 years from now?  I started to feel like I was waking up to make it through another day and not really living life!  I wanted much more out of my own life.  I wanted to start to answer these questions.  I also for a period of time felt guilty about life because I felt like, I was so blessed why did I want more from life (that's a whole other blog post).  I realized that it was not my job that was the problem but it was that God was preparing me!  For what, I am not quit sure yet.  I truly believe that nothing happens by mistake.  For so long I have been in a place of running, going, trying to get through another day and week and I forgot to listen to God.  I needed to start to slow down and be one with my Creator so I can create.  I am working on that.  Lo’s Notes is one result out of listening and speaking to God.  

I have been going through a transformation, and it has not been an easy transformation.  I have been pushing myself to really seek and grow.  I have learned that a positive attitude, prayer, surrounding yourself with good people, crying a little followed by lots of laughs are important.  I am leaving my current job to have more time to LIVE my purpose. For the past year and half I was wondering what the hell was wrong with me?  It was not only the fact that I was getting older, it was the fact that I was shifting and becoming more clear on what was important, what I was going to tolerate, and who I want to be in the world.  

After 7 years of teaching in the classroom, I  begin this new chapter in my life.  I know that I will encounter challenges, love, fear, and new perspective.  I also bring with me on this new journey God, love, friendships, family, and a peace of mind.

I pray this post leaves you to live, love and share.

Till next time,

LO —