A couple of weeks ago, I could not seem to figure out life. It just seemed as if nothing and everything was going wrong at work. You ever have one of those days? I had a big task at work that needed a keen eye and I was on a time crunch. Well, the work I produced did not turn out to my standards or my boss's standards either. He did not need to beat me up because I did a great job of that myself. I was basically in my feelings and I felt bad and embarrassed. There was noting that my friends and family could have said because I felt like a "fuck-up". I even asked God, "why?" What lesson did He want me to learn? I could not get pass the embarrassment of messing up to clearly learn anything. It took me a few days to finally quiet the talk in my head to distinguish between the facts and what seemed to be the truth. When I was able to quiet down and start the healing process (after beating myself up) I started to learn from my experience. One particular lesson is that I don't work well under pressure. I learned that I have to plan ahead. When I have to do things last minute or rush I don't produce my best work.
Second, I am learning that the brain/mind is a muscle. I have to constantly condition and work with this muscle for it be strong and healthy. I am a big believer in positive reinforcement. Praying, reading positive quotes and articles. Repeating over and over in the morning, that "today is going to be a good day" or "Greater is He who is in me then He who is in the world." I was polluting my muscle with negative things after I messed up, so I started to see the world as me being a "fuck up" and all I do is "fuck up some shit up". That is not true and I am not owning that.
Third, I am learning that we can not dodge making mistakes. I read this quote on good old Instagram, "you might never fail on the scale I did, but some failures in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-in which case, you fail by default". This blog is about encouraging you to LIVE! So, living means that you are going to make mistakes. I was so wrapped up in my mistakes that I did not realize that mistakes are apart of growth. Evaluated mistakes lead to growth.
Once I calmed down after the week's events I was able to see and understand what I was suppose to learn. I read Elizabeth Gilbert's post on Facebook about self-forgiveness which resonated with me:
"You'll never untangle the circumstances that brought you to this moment. But you are a warrior. Arise now, like a warrior. You are caught up in circumstances that God determined for you. Stand up and do your duty."
Such beautiful words of self-forgiveness!
The truth is that sometimes we find ourselves standing in predicaments that we simply cannot fix or untangle — or even begin to understand.
Sometimes we caused those predicaments; sometimes they were inflicted upon us; sometimes it's a mixture of both.
Sometimes, nothing can be done but to forgive ourselves for our own hopeless predicament (which invariably leads us to forgive others for THEIR hopeless predicaments) and then...arise.
Forgive, arise, and try again — humbled, but wiser.
Onward,
LG
LG
So, my loves, remember to press your feet firmly on the ground and like LG said, it best: "forgive, arise, and try again--humbled, but wiser". Isn't that what life is about remembering to live, love, and share!
See you next week! Bigger and better because your are going to arise and try again.
Love,
LO--
Nice post. Welcome back!
ReplyDeleteThanks ladybug!
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