Thursday, June 4, 2015

Get out of your own way

I am really growing all.  I don't remember when I realized this but I started to become really conscious of the fact that I talk myself out of my blessings (raise your hand if this is you).  What I mean by this is that I would say, "if it does not work at least I tried" or "if I don't get it now may be later".

God does not give you the idea without Him seeing you through.  He provides a way when there is non.  He will send the right people alongside you.

So why do we default to blocking our blessings?  Most people let fear of the unknown talk them out of their blessings. Any time you have an "if" when pursing your purpose you negate your blessings.  You are no longer living in creativity but now you are living in doubt.

I can find very many examples in my own life were I have allowed fear to derail me from being creative and experience joy in my pursuit of my purpose.  In essence you are either in fear or in faith. God does not give you the spirit of fear.  When pursing your dreams it requires faith.

When we pursue whatever God as called us to do, it is our outward expression of our trust in God.  When you fear you are saying you don't trust Him.

What is one area in your life you have talked yourself out of your blessings?

I pray this post leaves you to live, love and share over the weekend!

See you next week.


Tuesday, June 2, 2015

#Dear Self....

My bestie has an idea for a book that she is working on, a single lady's guide for living and dating in your 30's.  We were chatting it up over cocktails and food, while she was educating me on what it is like being single in NYC.  I can't wait for her book to be publish and I hope she graces us with some of her wisdom in a future post.  Over our third drink and lots of laughs I asked her what she would  tell her young self about love?  What she would tell her older self about love?

Here is what she would say to her younger self:
 Date more for fun and have more relationship experiences, not always looking for every man to be the one.
To her older self:
Look at what new experiences you can have or what you can learn.  Instead of focusing on where it is going.  

I paused and I thought about it and here is what I would tell my younger self about love:
Date. Don't be a stranger to going out and have fun.  Travel and find love in a foreign country over pasta and wine.
To my older self I would say:
Laugh a lot with your love, stay home on rainy days and eat ice-cream and watch a movie and always take turns speaking.

Leave a comment for me and tell me what you would tell your younger self about love?  What would you tell your older self about love? I look forward to reading them.  

See you next time on Thursday.  Remember to take the time to live, love & share.  



Thursday, May 28, 2015

Forgiving Yourself

Top of the hour!  I pray that everyone is having a great week.  If not, and the week has presented some bumps or challenges remember to pray.  Call on something Higher then yourself, call on your Creator.

A couple of weeks ago, I could not seem to figure out life.  It just seemed as if nothing and everything was going wrong at work.  You ever have one of those days?  I had a big task at work that needed a keen eye and I was on a time crunch.  Well, the work I produced did not turn out to my standards or my boss's standards either.  He did not need to beat me up because I did a great job of that myself.  I was basically in my feelings and I felt bad and embarrassed.  There was noting that my friends and family could have said because I felt like a "fuck-up".  I even asked God, "why?"  What lesson did He want me to  learn?  I could not get pass the embarrassment of messing up to clearly learn anything.  It took me a few days to finally quiet the talk in my head to distinguish between the facts and what seemed to be the truth.  When I was able to quiet down and start the healing process (after beating myself up) I started to learn from my experience.  One particular lesson is that I don't work well under pressure.  I learned that I have to plan ahead.  When I have to do things last minute or rush  I don't produce my best work.  

Second, I am learning that the brain/mind is a muscle.  I have to constantly condition and work with this muscle for it  be strong and healthy.  I am a big believer in positive reinforcement.  Praying, reading positive quotes and articles.  Repeating over and over in the morning, that "today is going to be a good day" or "Greater  is He who is in me then He who is in the world." I was polluting my muscle with negative things after I messed up, so I started to see the world as me being a "fuck up" and all I do is "fuck up some shit up".  That is not true and I am not owning that.  

Third, I am learning that we can not dodge making mistakes.  I read this quote on good old Instagram, "you might never fail on the scale I did, but some failures in life is inevitable.  It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-in which case, you fail by default".  This blog is about encouraging you to LIVE!  So, living means that you are going to make mistakes.  I was so wrapped up in my mistakes that I did not realize that mistakes are apart of growth.  Evaluated mistakes lead to growth.   

Once I calmed down after the week's events I was able to see and understand what I was suppose to learn.    I read Elizabeth Gilbert's post on Facebook about self-forgiveness which  resonated with me:

"You'll never untangle the circumstances that brought you to this moment. But you are a warrior. Arise now, like a warrior. You are caught up in circumstances that God determined for you. Stand up and do your duty."
Such beautiful words of self-forgiveness!
The truth is that sometimes we find ourselves standing in predicaments that we simply cannot fix or untangle — or even begin to understand.
Sometimes we caused those predicaments; sometimes they were inflicted upon us; sometimes it's a mixture of both.
Sometimes, nothing can be done but to forgive ourselves for our own hopeless predicament (which invariably leads us to forgive others for THEIR hopeless predicaments) and then...arise.
Forgive, arise, and try again — humbled, but wiser.

So, my loves, remember to press your feet firmly on the ground and like LG said, it best: "forgive, arise, and try again--humbled, but wiser".  Isn't that what life is about remembering to live, love, and share!

See you next week!  Bigger and better because your are going to arise and try again. 



Tuesday, May 26, 2015

wants vs.wishes

The journey continues y'all.  I have been off the scene for a minute now and a friend recently reminded me about all the great post I shared.  Plus, she mentioned my journey.  In less then a week we will be half way through the year. Friends and I sat around the grill talking about this year's life
lessons.  This group was not shy of expressing the highs and lows of half the year.  IT's NOT OVER!  That is what we all agreed about.  The best is yet to come.  What I noticed is that all of us had goals and ambitions that we were ready to put to the the test.

So enough catching up and on to the lesson!  Jack Canfield, the author of Chicken Soup for the Soul posted  his 101 Lifetime Goals "list". The list consisted of all the things he wanted to accomplished in his life.    See below are some of what is on his list.  The bold items are things he as already accomplished.

Personal Achievements
51. Appear on the Phil Donahue Show (deleted because it is no longer airing, but I have appeared on the Larry King Show, Fox and Friends, The Today Show and Good Morning America, as well as more than 100 other television shows and more than 700 radio shows)
52. Appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show
53. Write a best selling book (61 best-sellers so far)
54. Make one million dollars in one year ($20 million best year so far, plus $20 million one year when we sold one of my companies)
55. Golf 18 holes under 90 (Deleted due to ruptured disc)
56. Run a 10k race
57. Run 14 miles in less than 3 hours
58. Meet a U.S. president while he/she is still in office (I had lunch at the White House but President Bush was traveling in Texas)
59. Build or buy my dream house
60. Own a vacation home in Hawaii

61. Own my own pool table

His list got me thinking about wants vs. wishes.  Do we really know what we want?  Are we clear that what we want takes persistence?  Our wishes are those things we give little effort to and it would make things a little more comfortable.  Think about it, you say it all the time, "I wish I could afford those Louboutin's in every color". "I wish I could win the Mega Millions,  it would change everything".  Little effort.

I want to start my own list.  Starting your list and writing it down gives it power. The clique saying, "out of sight, out of mind", is so true.  If you don't write it down and see it and review it, and study it, then it just becomes another wish.

Here is the outline to making your wants:

                                                1. you decide what exactly you want 
                                                2. you write it down 
                                                3. make a plan
                                                4. you have to take action on the plan
                                                5. you create benchmarks along the way 

You can wish for a baggin' body and it will only remain a wish until you decided that you want to live a healthy life.  Here is an example: you determined exactly how much you want to lose.  Then, you write it down.  You make plan to start.  You start to workout and eat healthy daily.  You meet with a trainer, you join a gym, and you buy healthy foods.  Along the way you weigh yourself at the 3 week mark of working out, you might even make the workout a little more harder along the way.  Looking at this example also reminds me that your list is a process.

So, I don't want y'all to just read this post, I want you to challenge yourself to think about your own list and create what you want.  Get a journal and start creating your list!  It does not have to be 101, but what every it is let it be your ultimate best and commit to it.  I am working on my list and will share my list with you in the future.  In the meantime, start your list.  We only get better when we remember to live, love and share.  Share your list with me and we can hold each other accountable.

I look forward to seeing you again on Thursday (teaching/sharing with you is on my list).


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

New Year. New Lessons.

I am sure this post will find everyone working hard.  Back to the hustle and bustle.  Back on your grind, and back to living and defining your life's purpose.  Here are a couple of takeaways from 2014 to remember and bring into 2015.  Here we go!

# 5 - Stop thinking you have to wait until January 1st to set new goals and live them out.  Successful people understand that it is not an annual process it is a daily process. You should be more concerned about how you hold yourself accountable on a day to day bases.

# 4 - Sacrificing- Many of us do not want to put in the muscle work to sacrifice.  We must note that there is no achievement without sacrifice.  For example, I have been talking about running a 5k to damn long. I want to be strong and fit but for too long I have not put in the work to achieve my goal. I must start now to achieve my goal.  All small efforts compound for the achievement of my desired goal.  So whatever, you are committing to in 2015, start now, start slow but be consistent.

# 3 - Renewing your mind!  I wrote a blog post awhile back about making it a habit to renew your mind.  You must be intentional to cultivate your happiness.  It takes work and it is a process for the right mindset.

# 2 - Remembering to have gratitude.  The only way you can express gratitude to another person is being intentional about it and knowing what you are grateful for.  Take the time everyday to recognize the people and life's little treasures.  I recommend starting a gratitude journal.

# 1- Remembering to take time to live, love and share.  That means, laughing more, being grateful,    giving more and being a better version of yourself daily.

I look forward to hearing from you on what lessons you plan to take with you this year!

See  you again real soon.


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Have You Counted Your Blessings Lately?

I love this time of the year! When Thanksgiving comes around the mood changes and love is in the air. People travel to spend time with their loved ones or open up their homes to friends who maybe far from their families. Great stories are shared around tables and you are guaranteed that turkey this and turkey that will be the meal for the next many days! Homes get decorated in preparation for Christmas. Radios start blasting Christmas songs everywhere. The festive season is here. 

In a world where virtually every holiday has been commercialized, “Black Friday & Cyber Monday” used to be a day but now they are a week long! I watched in amazement as people trip over one another to get the “deal of day.” Holiday sales now month long and folks are busy buying stuff they don’t need unaware that they are laying a foundation of going into the next year in more debt! 

Could we have lost the essence of gratitude in the pursuit of more? I think we have. We have become a society with so much yet we experience so little joy in our lives. We casually say, “thank you” out of tradition and not from the depth of conviction. Have we become so entitled and become blinded to the most important things in our lives? Have you counted your blessings lately? 

I want to share with you my life lessons about gratitude or being thankful and I hope that it gives you a different lens through which you can count some your blessings. 

My grandmother always told me - “Son, in life there will always be people with more than you have and there will be those with less than you have. The key to being fulfilled is to always be thankful for what you have now.” Melody Beattie say, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home and a stranger into a friend.” How so very true! Gratitude turns what we have into more than enough.

Gratitude gives us strength to go through adversity in our lives. It gives us the strength to stand up again. It gives us the hope for the future, empowering us to keep moving for a better tomorrow. Be thankful for the tough lessons of 2014 and stand up with a refreshed hope and excitement for the coming year.

Gratitude gives us a renewed purpose for our lives. Sometimes we are faced by life altering realities in our lives that shake the very core of our being and gratitude gives meaning to the meaningless as long as we choose to see the best in all things. Gratitude allows us to mine the gold from every circumstance.

Gratitude is the cure for the destination disease. The someday disease-when I get a better job, when I get a better spouse, when I start a new business, when I retire! Quit postponing your joy! I love what Robert J. Hastings says: “Sooner or later we must realize there is no ideal destination, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life outdistances us. So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more and cry less.Life must be lived as we go along. Relish the moment is a good motto.”  I say, all we have is this moment - NOW live like you are grateful to be alive.

Gratitude opens the doors of opportunity and blessings to flow your way when we become intentionally grateful to those around us. We all need someone to believe in us,to build us, to guide us or support us on our life’s quest to fulfill on our purpose. Be thankful for your family, friends, mentors or the relationships you have right now. They are your blessings on the journey.

In conclusion, gratitude gives you perspective, gratitude gives you strength in times of adversity, gratitude gives purpose, gratitude gives you joy and fulfillment right now and finally gratitude opens the doors of blessings to flow your way. Count your blessings daily and always be a blessing to others around you. 

I thank you for your time. I thank you Lolade Onashile for the opportunity to serve you and your readers. Wishing you all a very blessed and wonderful holiday season my friends.

What are you most grateful for? Please share below.

 Live, Love and Share,

Guest Blogger: Njeru is a Co-Author with Brian Tracy of the bestselling book “Change Agents”. Certified Speaker, Coach & Trainer with the John Maxwell Team. Founder of The Leaders University. Njeru Nthigah is passionate about educating, empowering and equipping leaders. He also works with individuals to help them find, develop and live out their unique purpose. He currently lives in New Jersey. You may connect with his via social media:

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

A Place to Give Thanks!

With Thanksgiving a few days away.  I have put together a really simple, easy, and fun DIY for you. Here is a little token to get your family and guest involved in thinking about what they are thankful for at the dinner table!

Collect all your supplies and available to use.

Measure and cut out your kraft paper
Use a window for tracing or a flat surface.  

Finally, you have a ready to use placemat. 

What you'll need:

1. As many 20" x12" (roughly) pieces if kraft paper as you have people  at your table 
2. White paint pen (used the Recollection brand at  Michaels)
3. This printable template that reads "I am thankful for.." to trace on the kraft paper
4. Use window or other surface that can be used to trace on

When you complete your own DIY project for you and your family tag me on Instagram @loladenotes.  Remember to live, love & share!

Happy Thanksgiving!