I am a worrier. I don't necessarily worry about every thing but I do worry about my insecurities. The truth of the matter is that worrying depletes you instead of empowering you. It does not give you added value and it does not change your current situation. Worrying also is a failure to trust God's Word for your life.
After, reading this article I realized that I need to focus on the things I can change. I am also present to the fact that a positive attitude will manufest clear expectations.
This is going to really challenge me! I understand that I am going to have to transform my thinking, language and attitude. Please share with me your habits to never worrying.
I am coming off a long week from vacation. Everyone needs a break even my students. Since I was able to relax and take care of self I was able to respond to B.S. calmer, I smiled more, and I stopped to listen. I need more breaks ( said in my sarcastic voice)!
When I am able to take a break or a step back, I reflect more, I am more creative, and I tend to focus on what is important (my goals/purpose).
We need to learn how to rest. I believe that
we fall victim to over extending ourselves when we have a break with long to-do list, and we feel the need to always be on the run. Rebooting should be an opportunity for you to spend quiet time with yourself, reflecting, and planing.
Here are some ideas while you reboot:
2. listen to your favorite playlist
3. dinner with friends
4. quiet time at home (doing little as possible)
5. thinking of you or thank you cards (this shows gratitude)
6. picking up the phone and calling a friend
7. NO technology
8. a retreat
When is the last time you rebooted?
I challenge you to be present in the moment and recognize the value of silence and being with yourself. Rebooting is taking the time for yourself so you can learn how to create balance in your life. Allowing you, when you are at work, thinking about work and when you are at home you are thinking about home. You don't want to fall in the trap that so many do-- when at work you are thinking about home and when you are home you are thinking about work. I want to always be present for life's treasures and if I am not fully charged I will miss those moments.
Hope the week treated everyone well. I had the opportunity to have
Spring Break and did a lot of relaxing, caught up up on TV, and read for my book club. I also had the opportunity to continue to work on my purpose. By the end of the week I was fatigued and overwhelmed. I started to question the process and
polluted my mind with doubt. That is the easy way-out!
So I leave you were I am currently sitting! "Don't stop because your dream doesn't match your present reality. Dreams tend to be future oriented".
It has been a while since I have been posting. Life has been happening; I am sure you can relate. I turned a year older (wiser)... I really don't mind and have found a couple of gray hairs. This is what I know for sure... I have heard the saying that, "Life is what you make it", well it is true! I have been on this quest for living my true purpose. I use to say I was on a quest to find my true purpose. Then, I realized after I find it...then what!? In the mist of searching I have discovered that we really can have what we aspire and desire. It might look differently for all of us. We need to learn to never compare our journey with others. It leads to disappointment. Each of us has a different purpose and journey. If you take your time to figure out what your passion is it will lead you to your life's purpose. It takes TIME. It is a journey. Remember that it is a marathon and not a sprint.
One of the things that I realized is that you have to take the time to listen to your heart, and start making choices that are moving you closer to your passion. Everyday you are making a "passion sacrifice". Since I started this journey, I have gotten something so beautiful out of it. I have learned who I want to be! I am becoming more and more clear who I want to be in this world. I am pushing myself from "doing" to "being". What I mean by this -- is I want to live a life with no regrets, enjoying the process, encourage others that it is never too late to live your life's purpose, celebrate others, and live with clarity and intention. The doing is thinking that I was put on earth to be a good teacher, raise children, and get married. Many of us fall into this trap. Instead, the being is that I want to live my highest calling and contribution to this world. My being is empowering women through the conversation of beauty and health. What is your highest calling? See you again on Thursday! Remember to live love & share. LO --
Chasing your purpose is not always easy (I know from experience). There are going to be times that you are faced with challenges that are not foreseen, emotional highs and lows, and sometimes disappointments. One thing I know for sure is that you:
1. You need to write down your purpose and goals- This is because you don't want to get distracted from what keeps you dreaming and working relentlessly. When you are faced with life's challenges take out the paper you wrote down your goals and look at it, then use that to motivate/encourage you to continue your journey.
2. Surround yourself around people that can help encourage you. Someone you can confide in. This persons is someone who is going to tell you the truth. You should be able to find solutions with this individual.
What I am learning is that I want to know that everyday I am working towards something that is going to make a difference and celebrates my passion.
I don't have cable but when I heard about Lupita wining the Best Supporting Actress at the Oscars I was excited! Social media quickly started to quote her and I quickly jumped on my computer and You tube the video (love me some Youtube). I also have Matthew McConaughey's speech which, I LOVVVVED. It was so inspiring and true! Enoy!
So I was watching this show called Blood, Sweat & Heels, on Bravo. You might have already been hipped to the show already. One of the episodes the ladies which, are in there late twenties to late thirties shared about "snooping" on their man. One of the characters (I called them characters because they are acting a little for me. Watch for yourself) blogged about the other ladies conversation on snooping or investigating on their boyfriends. For one of the other ladies/characters who was written about in the blog shared that she snooped and FOUND OUT that her man was cheating. Now, from Demetria the bloggers perceptive, she was like, if you can't trust him then you need to loose him. The blogger also said, on the show she NEVER snooped. NOW! the other ladies that were blogged about did not believe Demetria the blogger.
Below is the post from Belle in Brooklyn. Check it out yourself:
Over the weekend, I attended a brunch where I had an interesting discussion with a few women, some of who hold a rather cynical view of relationships. The cynics believed that all men are capable cheating, and further this makes them justified in snooping through emails, cell phones, voicemails and stalking her significant other (and all potentials for the position) on social media. Their position: if you don’t check that a man is cheating, then how do you really know he isn’t?
Admittedly, this outlook isn’t exactly farfetched. According to a study on Men’s Fitness, 70 percent of women do an online search before agreeing to go out with a guy, and 63 percent of guys do the same before going on a first date. The same poll also found that 49 percent of women have checked their lover’s computer history, and 76 percent go through the e-mail inbox if it’s “accidentally” left open.
If you’ve ever read anything I’ve written on cheating and snooping, then you know my position: this is ludicrous. All of it.
Do all men have capability of cheating? Of course. (All women do too.) Do all men– or women– cheat? No. There are people, including men, who don’t. There is a type of person who is or becomes dissatisfied or just desires what you aren’t offering and they leave to explore other horizons as a single person who can do as they please with no accountability to anyone but themselves. That’s the type of person we should all desire to be with.
If that’s not the type of person you believe you are with, snooping is still not okay. Here’s the thing, digging through pockets and cracking passwords is a sign that you don’t trust your mate. Trust (and communication) are the core foundations of any relationship. If you lack trust, then I have to wonder why you are there. And further, if you believe all men cheat and you’re not okay with cheating, then why do you even want a man? If you have this outlook, either you putting up with cheating or staying with a man who cheats is the inevitable outcome, no?
I threw that logic out there and was met with this: D, you can’t really know if a man is cheating unless you check. You should respect yourself enough to want to know the whole truth.
To which I countered: you should have more faith in yourself enough to pick a good mate and know when something’s up.
One of the women shot back that she was once engaged– her first of four times– after six months of dating. Via snooping she found that the man she was betrothed to had a long-term girlfriend. She said she had no suspicions that there was another woman; she was just going through her routine look-see into his emails. “How else would I have known about her if I hadn’t looked?” she asked.
I countered that if she dated him longer– you know how I feel about dating for seasons to get to know people– she more than likely would have found out. I also think there were some major signs she must have overlooked. He’s juggling two serious relationships and she had no clue whatsoever that something was amiss?
Another woman added that she snooped on her ex and discovered that he had four women on the side. She knew something was up when they had plans to return home after a vacation, and suddenly he had to fly to another destination “for business.” So she snooped, found about the other women, and actually gave a call to at least one of them for more information.
“For what?” I asked.
She wanted details.
“But why did they matter?”
I was so baffled by her admission that I don’t remember her answer. (My core view on calling another woman to ask about your man is that is her man, not “yours”. I mean, she has more information on “your” alleged man than you do, right?)
Back to that first “thing” though: if you genuinely think your partner is lying, then whether they are or not is irrelevant. It’s still time to go, either to the exit, or if it’s worth it, to a therapist. A relationship without trust is inherently dysfunctional, and going nowhere fast.
I wish more women would recognize this, this being that it’s okay to just trust themselves. There’s no need to reduce yourself to a a crazed super-sleuth by digging through emails and social media platforms. They’re making a simple issue unnecessarily complicated. Trust yourself to pick a good mate. If you can’t trust him, leave. Find someone you can trust, and if you can’t do that, head to a therapist– it’s not the domain of a life coach– who can help you deal with your own trust issues.
And this leads me to a second thing: What if you snoop– with no intentions of getting caught, of course– and find nothing… but then your partner finds out you’re snooping? That’s a huge violation, a flashing red sign that you don’t trust him, and a sign that he can’t trust you. What kind of relationship is that?
The last women that were in the news snooping that we can recall was Rihanna and Evelyn (Basketball Wives). Disclaimer: I am not saying what happened to them was justified.
My question to you is, have you ever snooped/investigate on your signfigant other? What was the outcome after? Good or bad?