New Year Thoughts

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!  Now everyone is gearing up for twenty fourteen!  I am not sure if I am good with following through with New Year’s resolutions. I am not a fan of waiting until January 1st to make goals and reinvent yourself.  I do challenge you to spend a couple of days reflecting about which, goals you did meet this year, your blessings, and how this upcoming year is going to be different from the last.  I follow this blogger and last year she posted something interesting about her resolutions.  Take a look! here

LO --
Remember to live.love & share

Staying true to myself

Feeling obligated when you don’t have too!

So this past weekend I did not want to do something and because I felt obligated I went and did it anyway.  I was reflecting this morning how I am a grown ass woman and if I don’t want to do it I should not put myself in a situation were I have too.  

My mom has always told me that your time is important and if you feel like it’s going to take up your time you tell people, “let me thinking about it and I will get back to you”. I have a hard time telling people “no”.  I do not want to let people down, or be the one that never comes through for you. To be quite honest…I am not being my authentic self.  My best self is not arising or showing up if I have to force myself to be present.  

Saying no does not mean:  

I don’t love you.I don’t have time.

I  don’t care.

Not now. 

I have put you last or on the back burner. 

Saying no simply means NO!  I don't have have make it mean any more then that.  “I don't have to explain, and I don't have to repeat”.  So where do I go from here:  I need to make sure that I use the line, “let me think about it and get back to you”.  Also I have to start to have the frame of mind that “No” does not equal all the negative things I listed above.  I also need to make sure that my true authentic self is always present. Who am I being right now?  Am I being the pleaser or am I being true to myself.  

 

I also think that if you tell someone yes and realize that it does not work for you, take stalk of that and make sure it does not happen again!  We all are a victim of the "yes" syndrome. We want to make it a habit of “let me think about it”, which creates the space of making sure your best self arises. 

Can you relate to this?  How have you learned to say no in your life? 

Lo —

Remember to live. love & share.

Going balls to the wall....

So I was talking to a very important person about the year 2014 that is quickly approaching us.  We talked about things in our lives that we want to do differently and the strategies that we need to take to get there in accomplishing our dreams.  Don’t get me wrong 2013 was a great year and I have a lot to be thankful for.  One thing I have been reflecting upon is how I have been playing small.  When you play small you do not play to win, you play to avoid losing!

I am realizing that I have been doubting my abilities.  When you doubt your abilities the Universe  does not allow you to walk into your divine greatness.  I will never be 100 % prepared, but my experiences and the people that I have met along the way are preparing me for what is ahead.

My very important person pointed out, “you have to  give up the need to know how” .  Reflecting on what this means to me in my life I realized that this year what has held me back from living out my purpose is FEAR!  So in 2014 I commit to doing it afraid.  So I encourage you in 2014 to do the following:

1. Set a goal that will stretch you and grow you

2. Take small daily actions because fear is conquered one step at a time 

3. Develop a positive attitude 

As we get near the end of the year I hope you take the time to reflect on how you can make 2014 your best year!  Wishing you a very Merry Christmas.  

-- LO xo

'Tis the Season...

Hey everyone! I know some of you have been asking where I have been.  Life was giving me a run for my money.  I have been busy with the kids (my students), family, and the regular routine of life in general.  Last week was a crazy week and I am sure many of you can relate.  This past weekend I made sure to take some time to laugh with my boyfriend, catch up with my parents, treat my belly to some comfort food, and start decorating my house for the Christmas holidays.  I am a little late with decorating…this is what I have come to realize:

I don’t have to buy everything now!  As much as I love decorating and looking in magazines for inspirations

I need to take my time. I also shopped at Home Goods, Target and Walmart for cute signature items and ornaments for an affordable price. 

I shared Sunday morning shopping for a tree with Njeru.  This was his first time buying a live tree.  We shared a monument together. 

This is my first Christmas in my new home and I am learning to make my own traditions in my house, my way. 

Though the week just started and my to do list keeps getting longer.  I am going to take the time and decorate my home, laugh, make some hot coco, and document my traditions and holiday memories with photos.  Doing this will help the list not look so  daunting.  Here are couple of my finds from my shopping spree:  

My purchase from Home Goods

                                               

Another purchase from Home Goods

I love a wreath!

Every year my family gets our Christmas Tree from this farm near our house

Welcome to the Harris Farm

That's the one!

She is finally home!  Now, if only I added lights!

What are a couple of your traditions around the holiday season?  

My top 8 favorite gift ideas for the holidays

I am not really a mall person.  I prefer on-line or catalog shopping.  I love flipping through the pages of Crate and Barrel and West Elm, now that I am a home owner.  If you are looking for some last minute gift ideas for yourself or family members check out the list below for inspiration.  Happy shopping!  Let me know if you try any of the gift ideas and what you think of it!

Top from left to right:
Leather travel wallet / $98 30% off
Mini bluetooth speaker/ $59
Ban.do iphone 5/5s Case/ $25
Personalized purse mirror/ $29 
Neon Vineyard Bib Necklace / $42
Limited edition golden mug/ $8
Sugar paper calendar / $52
Hand and stone / $49.95

Madiba

I was in a meeting at work when I received a text from Njeru saying, “Nelson Mandela has passed away!”  I read out loud the text message, sharply interrupting the meeting and placed my hand over my heart in disbelief, not wanting to believe the news.  I confirmed the news with CNN and it was true.  

I was shy of being 10 when Nelson Mandela was released from prison.  I can not remember the details of his release, but I do remember my parents discussing the events of what they thought was an important day in history for South Africans, Africans  and African Americans.  I did not really know much about Mandela until I went to college and took a South African and Civil Right class.  The class explored the comparisons of leaders, education and segregation both in South Africa and in America.  It was not until then that I became fascinated about how at two different times and places, black people were struggling for freedom and equality. 

Now, 23 years later from the time of his release from prison I reflect back on his life and the legacy that he as left the world.  I will be able to one day tell my children that Nelson Madiba stood up against injustice, facing the demons of oppression, persevered in the darkest time,and rising up like champ.  I still to this day don’t know how he forgave the apartheid system (talk about the power of forgiveness).  He has left a legacy of love,forgiveness, courage, and humility.  If I had a quarter of what he possessed I would be a winner!  

I want to leave a legacy were women are empowered to be their best version of themselves!  I know that this will take vision, love, courage, humility, and tenacity. Remember, 

“Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”

 -Marianne Williamson

What legacy do you want to leave behind?

Tradition Vs Identity

We get so busy working, taking care of the home, and running errands, that we forget to stop and pay attention to details or the people around us.  When was the last time you went to the book store and sat in the magazine section reading and wondering how you would start a new hobby, or try a new recipe? Maybe get in the car and go sightseeing?   

After a whole week for running around and catering to everyone else, this past week Njeru and I went to Philly on a date night to see the film, Mother of George.  Of course I was dying to see it because it was directed and stared Nigerians (my peoples).  The film was a little slow but a great conversation piece on traditions and marriage.  Everyone has their traditions and family plays a role in shaping those traditions.  My question to Njeru was, how are we going to successfully merge our two traditions and beliefs together without loosing our identities?  When you marry a Nigerian you marry their family, and the movie speaks to that.  I don't want to get so caught up in tradition that we forget to celebrate and honor what has brought and kept us together for so long.  

In this movie the wife was struggling to conceive. She faced both external and internal pressure from the family.  It became a struggle for of the characters to retain their identity in the face of cultural and family pressures. What I learned was that when we give into the pressure, opinions and expectations of other people we tend to make the wrong decisions that have lasting impact.  Go and check out Mother of George and tell me what you think about the film and story.  It has received many great praises at Sundance.  Thanks Azar and Colleen for encouraging me to see it.

I do believe that there is something to say for a strong family unit.  It helps when raising children, celebrating special occasions, and going back to your roots.  SO when Njeru and I do decide to get married, will he be marring the family?  No, he will be marring me and I embody my roots, family, traditions, and experiences.  

I am a sucker for a great restaurants!  So that same night we went to Village Whiskey.  Famous for their whiskey and burgers. Who would have ever thought putting short ribs on french fries was a good ideas?  It was delicious!  Thanks Gordon for the recommendation. Check out the pics below:

A Toast to New Beginnings...

Its official! I am going to start blogging and to be honest I am having some reservations.  Why, you ask?  Because of my little insecurities about people not getting it, or not getting me! I have been talking about blogging for a while now and finally I am building up the courage to share more of me and hope that it inspires you.  

Lo’s Notes came about because one day I asked a friend what is one positive characteristic you find in me?  She quickly paused and tilted her head, examining were I was trying to go with this trick question. She responded by saying, “you love to share with others”.  I asked her what she meant  by that, and she gave the example of when we were in Atlanta  I was really great at being everyones cheerleader. She continued to say, I find the best in everyone and connect people so that they can share their talents, wisdom, and experiences with one another.  She ended with saying, “Lolade you never have a hard time making new friends and keeping them, because you always know how to make people feel important. Her words and description were on point!  She really got me!

Lo’s Notes are exactly what the heading at the top of the blog says, they are my notes about living, loving & sharing.  As I am getting younger (lol) I am realizing that life is what you make it.  So, I hope Lo’s Notes inspires you  to live, love and share in  your own life. Remember, 

You had a purpose before anyone had an opinion

- Rae Holliday

“ Y’all come back now.”