Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Staying true to myself

Feeling obligated when you don’t have too!

So this past weekend I did not want to do something and because I felt obligated I went and did it anyway.  I was reflecting this morning how I am a grown ass woman and if I don’t want to do it I should not put myself in a situation were I have too.  

My mom has always told me that your time is important and if you feel like it’s going to take up your time you tell people, “let me thinking about it and I will get back to you”. I have a hard time telling people “no”.  I do not want to let people down, or be the one that never comes through for you. To be quite honest…I am not being my authentic self.  My best self is not arising or showing up if I have to force myself to be present.  

Saying no does not mean:  

I don’t love you.I don’t have time.
I  don’t care.
Not now. 
I have put you last or on the back burner. 

Saying no simply means NO!  I don't have have make it mean any more then that.  “I don't have to explain, and I don't have to repeat”.  So where do I go from here:  I need to make sure that I use the line, “let me think about it and get back to you”.  Also I have to start to have the frame of mind that “No” does not equal all the negative things I listed above.  I also need to make sure that my true authentic self is always present. Who am I being right now?  Am I being the pleaser or am I being true to myself.  

 

I also think that if you tell someone yes and realize that it does not work for you, take stalk of that and make sure it does not happen again!  We all are a victim of the "yes" syndrome. We want to make it a habit of “let me think about it”, which creates the space of making sure your best self arises. 

Can you relate to this?  How have you learned to say no in your life? 

Lo —
Remember to live. love & share.

2 comments:

  1. Great Post Lolade. Yes I can relate to it!

    What I have learned is that when we do not have personal goals that we are working towards, we become a part of others agenda! We must never confuse activity with accomplishment and therefore gaining back our most presious commodity - TIME is only achieved by learning to manage our lives and commitments. In 2014 we should all aim to say no to the good so that we can say YES to the great!

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  2. Girl! This is so true. I used to do that so often. With time, it has gotten easier. I love what you put for what saying no does not mean. I will be borrowing this!

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